Would your lips be sealed? (12/2002; ultra short)


“You did?”

“Uh huh.”



“With Marshall? Last night?”


“With Marshall?”

“Mm hmmmmm,” Jane practically purred.

“I thought he was gay.”

“He is definitely not gay. I’ve got three used condoms in my trash can at home that can definitely attest to that.”


“You can say that again,” Jane said conspiratorially with a wicked smile on her face.

“Marshall? Marshall from accounting? With the HP 41C calculator in his shirt pocket?”

“What’s so hard to believe? If you take off his glasses, he’s got the most amazing blue eyes. The kind you could lose yourself in.”

“I’d say you’ve already lost it, girl.”

“And he works out, I’m telling you. He’s got washboard abs and these great arms. He could be a Calvin Klein underwear model.”

“Really?” Sally perked up hearing that Marshall was in such good shape. She was always a sucker for the buff type.

“And he’s disproportionate… In a… good way.”

“No way. Get out of here.”

“Yes way,” Jane said as she motioned with her hands.

Sally gasped and repeated herself, “No way. Get out of here.”

“I’m telling you, the guy’s a stud. He’s got the equipment and, even better, he’s read the owner’s manual.”

“I still can’t believe it.”

“Hello ladies. What can’t you believe, Sally?” Marshall asked as he walked up to their table.

“Oh, uh, nothing,” said Sally sheepishly.

“Oh, come on, I bet Jane probably told you about our date last night.”

“Uh, yeah, she did, but –”

“It’s okay. I know it seems weird that Jane would date a guy like me. I’m not exactly Mr. In, I know that.”

Relieved that Marshall seemed to innocently misinterpret Sally’s incredulousness, Jane replied, “Oh, come on Marshall. You’re a smart, handsome man. I was just telling Sally what a nice time I had.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear that. I had a really nice time too.”

Sally wanted to make one of those stick-your-finger-down-your-throat gagging motions, but instead chimed in with, “It’s really great that you two hit it off so well.”

“Yeah. I think so too. I’m pretty lucky,” said Marshall as he began to rise from the table.

“Where are you going?”

“I just saw Frank and Tom sit down over there. I wanted to go over some receivables details with them.”

“Okay, have a nice day,” said Jane, sounding like a schoolgirl. “Call me later?”

“Sure thing. Bye Sally.”

“Bye Marshall.”

After Marshall was out of earshot, Jane said to Sally, “I’m glad he’s a gentleman. He’d probably be embarrassed if he heard us talking about such personal details like we were.”

“It’s true. He really does seem like a nice guy, and if he’s as well put together as you say he is, it sounds like you found yourself a catch, girl.”

“I know. I can still hardly believe it – a guy that’s smart, gainfully employed, handsome, built like Adonis and that’s a perfect gentleman and who’s interested in me. I still can’t believe it.”

Meanwhile, across the lunchroom, Marshall waved at his coworkers Frank and Tom, sat down at their table and greeted them with a friendly, “Hey guys, what’s up?”

“Not much. What’s up with you?”

“You’ll never guess who I slept with last night…”

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