Monday Morning

Monday Morning

Not-so-serious thoughts about what it means to be unemployed (10/2001)

It’s Monday morning. And I’ve got no place to go. For the first time in 13 years, I’m without a job. The first time in 22 years if you count part time work as a teenager.

I’ve jumped off of the Silicon Valley treadmill. At least for now. And I feel… how do I feel exactly?

I think I’ll go read through the TV Guide and see what daytime television is all about. What soaps should I watch? What talk shows? Oprah or Jerry Springer? Should I just go with the plan of sitting on the couch eating cherry bonbons and getting fat? I could use my stomach as a resting place for my arms, as they tire from using the remote. As appealing as this idea is, I just can’t do it – it’s way too stereotyped for me.

This month’s Fortune magazine has an article on how to treat yourself well. Here are the top few items on the list… #1) Skydive. Nope. Ain’t gonna happen. #2) Buy a motorcycle. My wife would kill me. #3) I don’t really remember, but it’s not important.

I’m thinking about throwing a Slacker Party. To really respect the cause, I should probably throw it at around 2pm in the afternoon on a workday. But then nobody’d show up given that all my friends are Type A ladder climbers. Now, now, shouldn’t be that way… I was just one myself until yesterday. No, I think I’ll skip the party – if nobody comes, I’ll be depressed. And how depressing would that be to be foot loose and fancy free and be depressed?

Maybe a round of golf? Now may be the perfect time to focus on this maddening sport. As kismet would have it, for the first time ever in the history of mankind, I shot an entire round of golf (well, 9 holes anyway) with just a single ball. This is a major accomplishment, trust me.

It’s Monday morning and the world in my oyster, as they say. But what will I do with it?

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